A few weeks ago, K and I talked about me attending residential treatment programs and how they were largely ineffective. The practices that went on there were akin to boot camp. Just weeks ago she made it clear she understood how harsh of a place the treatment centers were, saying, “all you needed was to be shown that you were loved, not the boot camp method.” Well guess what? That continues to remain true, I still need to be shown that someone loves me, and especially from someone who knows I need love, and she’ll provide to other people, so it’s not like I can even say it’s not supposed to happen since it’s from a therapist because that breaks all therapeutic boundaries. Except it did happen, at least for B. B was given and still is given the love she is needed, at least from one person. I don’t get any love though, I don’t get boundaries crossed, even if that’s what I need. Either isn’t healthy, having boundaries crossed and not getting the support and love I need. Both ways I’m still in a deep hole. It’s not getting any easier.


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