One of the best fighters for others

Posted: 20 J0000007UTC 2011 in Entertaining, Health, Update
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The male who I am a progeny of called tonight and a ton of information was divulged.

I’ve been avoiding his recent contacts as he’d like to come out here to see me. It’s been nearly one full year since I’ve seen him. I attempted suicide less than two weeks after seeing him.

Seemingly receptive, I told him the truth and how I’m hesitant to see him considering he takes on the personality of the girl he’s with. Being that he’s not seeing anyone at the moment, I told him I don’t want to get my hopes up because the moment he finds a new prospect, his and my relationship will crumble yet again as per status quo.

I divulged pieces of the past to him as if he hadn’t known. I told him how one of the first questions therapists asked me as a kid was “is anyone hurting you”? and how I always said yes and no one did anything.

He told me he never understood why I wasn’t connecting to the world or therapists, and seemed to recognize that as the reason.

He admitted I was abused in every way even though it wasn’t “intentional” (another long story short). I don’t understand his failure to act and fight for me tho he knew I was in a “toxic situation” (his words, with particular reference to female chromosomal donor’s house (wife 1) and how if things weren’t done her way, I’d get in trouble, which was quite often as I rebelled all the time).

Considering he’s one of the best in the nation fighting for strangers, I’d think he’d fight for his own kid.

He admitted to cheating on wife 1since I was two months old. When I was in the hospital apparently she rarely visited me, spent all her time with my brother and when she was offered maternity leave upon my discharge at two months old, she declined it.

He said that turned him away from her; he couldn’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to be with their own kid and would chose work over the kid.

He told me he has PTSD now from his most recent relationship with “xxx” and he was emotionally and physically abused by her and she has “multiple personality disorder” (DID) and he didn’t recognize that even though my brother and I constantly told him she was crazy.

There was a lot that transpired and came out tonight and I’m putting it down before I numb out entirely and forget it.

Thanks for taking the time to read the words.


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