You twisted fucks. You attempted to raise my guilt levels and ultimately succeeded in doing so. I was about to utilize my travel break to travel to a nine hour time zone difference and back within four days to visit my “ailing brother”. I don’t know how ailing you can be when you continue to compose jackass e-mail messages from your bedside.

I’m fucking sick and tired of being everyone’s punching bag. Enough is enough. Don’t just contact me when you need to blow a load and transfer your insanity to me. I’m fucking done with you bastards, you good-for-nothing imbeciles. Leave me alone you crazed bullies. Don’t attempt to twist my fate and my reality yet again.

You ill people continue to use me as the scapegoat so you don’t have to look at your own damn problems. Well it’s time you take a good hard look and stop fucking with my life. The moment I try to do as you say, to contact him, to communicate with him, you say, “Did you actually expect him to jump for joy when he finally heard from you?” Well maybe not jump, but judging from other people’s messages, I figured it would at least do some good.

I’m not going to sit around and pretend like nothing happened. I don’t care how sick someone is, no one and I mean no one has the right to be an evil pompous prick as he has been displaying. Fuck, I can’t even put into words how damn angry I am for falling for the trick, for allowing you to mess up my brain, yet again.

Family, what fucking family do I have? All this incident has shown me is how unhealthy and irrational all you people are and how honestly, I wish you were all dead.

It’d be a lot easier to justify not having a family if everyone was deceased. Instead, I get to look at reminders of how dysfunctional you all are and how you all hold Adam on a pedestal and how the crown prince of Neurofibromatosis Type II continues to be the diamond of everyone’s eye. I know you will likely never see his faults, and you will constantly put your hurts and fear and horrid feelings onto me. I am being who in your mind doesn’t matter and is so fucking ill. I went through unnecessary and dangerous testing because you believed I was at fault. I was sectioned off from society for years. And for what and why? Because you thick people can’t bear to think that you do anything wrong. It’s not all on me. I wish you’d show me the compassion and love I deserve. Since that won’t happen, I will continue to displace myself, and struggle on my own. Struggling on my own is better than being terrorized by you.


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