Sometimes I forget even though I’ll always remember

Posted: 20 J00000010UTC 2011 in Addictions, Depression, Entertaining
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When I feel autistic-like, exhibiting a lack of social skills, I become frustrated. Then I remember that there are a few obstacles I’m facing, namely being institutionalized for the better part of my young adulthood. Inappropriately, improperly institutionalized by parents who fail to recognize faults in themselves and find it easier (and it probably is) to put the exposed kid under constant supervision.

At the first place, I begged to leave upon my first phone call after 30 days of being there. Did I mention that this place actually did “allow” or rather force me to call my mother two weeks into being there, not to wish her a happy holidays or anything, rather to inform her that I had engaged in self-injury after 2 years of not doing such.

Did Anyone care to ask why I had performed the act? Nope.

My friend and I were talking and he was messing around on a fitness machine. He fell and cracked his head open and when I went to get help from staff, they began helping him medically all the wrong ways. I informed them what would be best to do in this situation and rather than listen, they shooed me away. If felt more than unimportant and an absolute waste of space and the sharp objects practically called my name.

Be it known that years later when I spoke with the admissions coordinator she told me she was really scared when she admitted me, knowing that there would be a break in treatment due to the holidays and I was extremely suicidal (just got out of what was supposed to be a 3-10 day hospitalization but turned into 17 days without any fresh or outdoors).
People are typically in the program for one year, maybe slightly more. Thanks to my formed dependence on the program, I remained there for 1 year and nine and a half months. That was the first one.

There were four subsequent placements and eight other hospitalization since that time. In total, I have been in mental health treatment (only counting residential and hospitalizations) nearly three years of the past seven years. Holy shishkabob, no wonder integration is a challenge

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