I’ve dealt with death before.
Death of a close friend sucks. I’m sitting around people who have no idea. They don’t share the pain I’m in, not that I want them to.
At the same time, I feel sad, and sitting around smiling people feels, well, awkwardly inappropriate. I’m sad. I don’t think I want to remove myself from this cloud of sadness.
Last year I realized I’ve never actually grieved anything. It’s a process that was constantly stifled through my or other’s means. I am a product of an extremely invalidating childhood. I don’t want to continue that cycle.
Let me grieve, don’t come up to me with fake smiles and “how are you’s?” that don’t mean anything. Stop falsely caring and either care, or don’t. No more middle ground.
iwishiwaslying 