He didn’t just mess with my body, oh no. That doctor messed with me psychologically, he didn’t listen to me when I said something was wrong.

I’m behind in school, because of his error. Catching up means I don’t have time to hang out with friends. I was already socially excluded when in hospital, now I’m continuing to be socially isolated attempting to catch up on work.

And yet, I can’t seem to do work to my usual level. My brain is foggy and I’m tired. I get it, I know, sepsis destroys the body.

Today a classmate said, “just break apart the word antibiotic… Anti-bio… It destroys your cells, the good and the bad”.

That’s when it occurred to me that the massive doses of IV antibiotics I received last week are similar to chemo-both medications destroy cells.

And so I sit and think about all of the work I must complete and then the psychological effects set in more and I become depressed.

I haven’t been depressed like this in over one year. He emotionally messed with my sanity too.

To think, this was all brought on by failures of the medical system. I hate being sad and I want it all to just disappear. The mistakes, the medicine, the hospitals, sometimes even my strength.

I don’t know how much more I can endure of this shit.


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