Posts Tagged ‘deserving’

I think they expect me to fail. I think they yearn for it. If I fail and if they don’t respond to my needs, then maybe I won’t reach out to them. Those twisted people, the ones who are supposed to help, yet stray away at the first signal of need. They call themselves help. Really they’re just in it for the blasted money.

Sometimes I think I did something so awful in a past life, I must’ve been worse than Hitler to be so undeserving and not worthy of love or affection or happiness in this life. I must suffer along knowing that my pain seems endless, trying is at a point futile. I just want to be happy and help others, why must road blocks constantly develop?

Why can’t the pieces of the universe align for more than short periods of time? Why am I alive and constantly being teased, good things dangling in my path for a mere moment and suddenly ripped away. It hurts. Life hurts.

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