Posts Tagged ‘poem’

Remember when,
We were friends?
When I came to you and you came to me, and
Everything we did together was in near -perfect synchronicity
I miss those days, those times, those moments,
Most of all I miss you.
I should have known I couldn’t depend on you.
I should’ve known you weren’t for real.
All that glamour, too much appeal.
I was suckered in right from the start.
Actually thought your words and feelings were coming from your heart.
Instead, they were coming from your mind, and I was blind-or merely naive.
Looking back now, how didn’t I see that you’d eventually leave?
Nothing I did wrong, nothing in my control.
I became sick and you became, well, full.
Full of life, full of bs?
Doesn’t matter which, because I won’t get my wish.
To have you near, to have you around.
What I’d give just to hear that sound.
Of you answering the phone or opening the door.
To have you in my life, just once, no more.

I Laugh

Posted: 20 J0000002UTC 2011 in Health, mental
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I laugh because I want to frown.
I smile because I want to drown.
I am sinking, deeper and deeper.
All I show you is happiness.
Showing happiness is easier.
Easier than all the time you might spend worrying.
Worrying about me, worrying about life.
I make it easier for you.
I make it easier for me.
It’s not easy though.
Life is not easy.
It’s a pool, an in contained pool with chaos floating all around.
With people lying in the pool, dying.
People are dying.
Do you hear me?
People are fucking dying.
Do you even care?
I thought not.
That’s really why I didn’t tell you.
That’s why I made everything look ok.
That’s why I smile.
That’s why I laugh.
Because life is rough and if you go along for the ride, you won’t make it.
Not if you show your true emotions.
You can’t make it.
You’d die before you do.
And me, I’ll just die smiling.
It’s better that way, isn’t it?

20140220-223447.jpg

See that one over there?

The one walking with a limp…  no one actually cares.

Wearing clothes that are hand-me-downs,

because face it, no one like her ever wears ball gowns.

She has always had trouble fitting in.

Her siblings, they just grin.

They watch her get hit, or shoved or threatened.

Standing by, they have their lesson:

“As long as we set her up,

We won’t get beat down.

As long as she gets the brunt.

Only she wears the frown.”

The little girl keeps trying to tell people about horrors abound.

No one believes her unless they witness it for themselves.

Or perhaps in a gutless act of mercy, just protecting oneself.

 

These kids grew up in the same town,

Two look up while one looks down.

One goes home at night, unable to sleep.

Yet, all who are able to help, do not… and the girl, she just weeps.

Locked behind doors because her eyes won’t shut.

Praying to the sky that this isn’t a permanent rut.

As the thought of kidnappings or murders in the night leave her frozen.

She wonders each time, “why was I chosen?”

Chosen to live a life full of love, devoid of chaos.

She pours her heart into living each day.

As it gets harder and harder to live, she sways.

Always on the brink between life and death.

Emotions long gone, she’s told she’s insane.

In a journal entry from age nine, she acknowledges the pain.

In a vain attempt to let others in,

She climbs further and further into the hole, hoping someday she’ll win.