Who Am I?

I often wonder when I became the person who knows ridiculous amounts of random factoids, and applies this knowledge to most subjects in class. While pondering when this change in my personality took place.

I am reminded of near nightly dinners at my mother’s house. After going through our respective days, the people who had something to talk about it be it politics or some other seemingly useless subject to most elementary schoolers, my brother and mother ruled the minutes of the meal. My stepdad and I sat across from one another silent while my brother and mother chatted away. I must have at some point realized that here are two ways to get attention in my family:
1. Be sick, really sick.
2. Know a lot
Bonus points if you’ve contributed to the world in either of these-example: brother has an illness that he is under constant clinical trials for, ultimately contributing to how not to fuck up future gene pools.

True person I am was constantly berated. I often had too much energy for my family and was excluded and removed from the family dynamics from a young age.

I am not a person who knows random facts because I like to know random facts. I gained this knowledge in an attempt to fit in with my family, who would ultimately not accept me or love me unconditionally.

In a vain attempt to fit in during my childhood, I so greatly stand out like a sore thumb, offering remedies or what sort of infections are specific to the brain, not because I am truly interested in anything, more because I want someone, anyone to be interested in me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s